Few things on my mind

& i made such grave mistakes that I can't forget. Lots of regrets. If only i can have a second chance. 

Its hard. 
I have everything w me. Everything. 
I felt like a bitch.
Why do I turn out this way? 

Why is it so hard?

How can i get over .......
C'mon Geraldine, you can do it.

I couldn't.

How long has it been?

Six degree of separation

First, You think the worst is a broken heart
Whats gonna kill you is the second part.
& the third, is when your worlds splits down the middle
& Fourth, You're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you'll see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit, that you may have fucked up a little

:(

Some things are better left unsaid.

LOL

Question:

Decide on your own RJ to write with a min of 300 words.

Response:

How did you celebrate your CNY. ;) I have to go visiting for 2 days, so i manage to do my shopping and had 2 sets of new clothing :) So on the eve of CNY, normal tradition, steamboat and yusheng. And there is salmon added to the yusheng. But sadly, I don’t like yusheng because of the taste, and vegetables. So I only eat the salmon. And my aunt prepared cooked broccoli with the mushroom and faked sliced abalone beneath those vegetables. I am allergic to abalone and I’m not sure whether I can eat fake abalone. But I don’t care and just risk it, so I ate about 5 slice and nothing happen to me!  CNY day 1, went visiting and we get to catch up with cousins and family. But the thing that most of us are looking forward to is gambling. Not really big, its just for fun, so we only play 20cents to 50cents. Collected a few red packets and the day just gone like that. Gambling and dinner.  CNY day 2, went visiting again and that day is really boring. Then my whole family went to walk walk together at VIVO. CNY day 3, which is yesterday, me and my closest friend went to one of our house for steamboat and gambling. This time I brought along my mini piggy bank. We had our steamboat first, it was all nice, fun and lots of laughter. We are all full from eating so we decided to rest, then later go back for a second round. So we started gambling with poker cards. We played 50cents minimum. But I just stick with 50cents throughout the whole game. Unfortunately, I lost every cents in my piggy bank. (LOL) But I feel its okay, because it was just for fun. And I normally gamble in some occasion once in a while. But, looking at how much my friend was packing her coins into a plastic bag, is really ridiculous.

Whats on my mind

I care about so many things that it actually brings me down. I don't know why these things affected me so much. Maybe because there are good moments between us before & i didnt forget you as my friend. 

& everything i do, i still thought ....... 
Its hard, it takes time, but how long do i need to finally let go?

That photo album

Still my favourite song.

its the deadlines

The heart is forever making the head its fool.

Random

Dream job - groom pets. Especially dogs.
Goal - overseas ultimate. (unlikely) 
Dream club - Tomorrowland

New beginning, i shouldn't think about the past & neither should i let it affect me.

I can't go back to you now, i have to settle some things first. & i'm really sorry to back out at the last min. I'm sorry for everything. & enough of your assumptions.

actions

Some actions that i do is because i need it.

for fuck sake, its not sex or anything to do with sex k.

Things have been v happening around me. No i'm not going to list out all. & frankly speaking, some of the things i do, i'm quite embarrassed & ashamed of myself too.

So, hanging around w the girls at night at lower seletar, playing games & drinking w so much fun & laughter. Really love this moment. We'll have more of this if possible! :) Birthdays are all coming tgt, that also means that my money is dropping v fast ... & i'm really glad that i've you, you, you, you & you as my friend :)

Preparation.

Sudden feel to have some mini motivation talk, to myself. Previous training was terrible. Yes. It is terrible. Personal mistakes, drops, catches, misthrows. Its really bad. POL-ITE is coming & all we got is all these mistakes we made. Its okay to make mistakes, its okay ... But every individual need to make sure that you don't make the SAME mistakes again.

Go-To(s), consecutive 30 passes. We can't even make it. What is this? If you can't throw, come down earlier and throw more, join us in hardcourt at sembawang, or extra mini training on thursday. All you need is practice and more effort.

& don't ever ever, EVER give up on the disc. It really pisses me off when you didn't bid for the disc when you can actually catch it. -.-

Yes i'm not so good myself, but i'll make the effort and do whatever things i said earlier.

Very very bad mood. & the way he speaks to me .... sucks.

Judged

Just a moment of folly, mistakes & foolishness, you get judge. I don't like how people look at me this way. Alright, i just have to suck it up & just not let history repeat itself. 

Confusion

Bump into his parents at MRT that day, really v happy to see them :) Talked alot about him. Kept me thinking so much :'( Looking at his fb posts, i really felt very sad :'( Aunty told me how he was scared of getting hurt again, which i thought of it that day. Which is why i have not been contacting him since that day :'( i really hope i could come to a decision. 

Because i still think of you. Everything i do or went, memories just flashed back.